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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29755419">Unsteady</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkDippedFingertips/pseuds/InkDippedFingertips'>InkDippedFingertips</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spirits and Cocaine [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Narcos (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Exhaustion, Idiots in Love, Javier Peña needs a hug, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Short &amp; Sweet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:08:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29755419</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkDippedFingertips/pseuds/InkDippedFingertips</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Javier felt like he hadn't slept in ages.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Murphy/Javier Peña</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spirits and Cocaine [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unsteady</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: Exhaustion</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Javier blinked down at the mess of papers on his desk, could just barely make out his notes scrawled in the margin. His eyelids were drooping, and his head leaned heavily on his fist while he willed himself to stay awake, to keep reading. The coffee cup sat a few inches away from his other hand, mocking him because he’d hit his limit nearly three hours ago, the caffeine doing nothing to help him anymore. The rim was stained brown where he had drank from it the entire day and he didn’t even have the energy to go wash it in the sink.</p>
<p>Around him, the office was nearly silent, the usual staff slowly filtering out with a rustle of clothes and the tap of shoes against linoleum and Javier just counted himself lucky that the night crew knew better then to ask, to suggest he head home. His apartment was the last place he wanted to be, couldn’t help the feeling of dread at the prospect of climbing into his bed.</p>
<p>He would only wake up in a cold sweat later.</p>
<p>There were good days and there were bad days, except the bad days always seemed to last weeks at a time, stretching on and on until he couldn’t remember what it was like to get a good night’s rest or what it felt like to do something right. Javier was used to it, knew the game by heart and kept a bigger bottle of whiskey in his desk, a few extra smokes on hand, and waited for the inevitable.</p>
<p>Eventually, he’d be tired enough not to dream, not to relive old nightmares, playing in his head like a movie seen a thousand times. Until then, he’ll spend his evenings and his weekends and every spare minute reminding himself why the fuck he puts himself through hell, reminding himself that Escobar is little more then a common man who was bound to slip up one of these days.</p>
<p>With a sigh, he shoved the papers aside and buried his face in his hands, fingernails biting into the skin of his forehead. The relief was momentary, and he wondered what would happen if he made his way to the little corner store a few blocks away and emptied their shelves of energy drinks.</p>
<p>“Javi?”</p>
<p>He flinched, startled by the sound of Steve’s voice coming from right next to him. Lifting his head, Javier found Steve standing there, his tall form hovering over him, brows furrowed and eyes far too kind for how he was feeling right then.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” he could have sworn he’d watched his partner leave an hour ago at least, not that he’d been paying very close attention.</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, “doesn’t matter, I’m going to drive you home.”</p>
<p>“I’m good here.”</p>
<p>“You’re not, you look like shit.”</p>
<p>Javi narrowed his eyes, “Murphy-”</p>
<p>He was cut off by Steve turning around abruptly and making his way to the coat rack a few steps away, pulling off his coat and tossing it at him. Javier just managed to catch it, could already feel himself giving in because his partner was a fucking menace who didn’t know when to quit.</p>
<p>“Get up, you should be able to catch a few hours of sleep at least and then we’ll decide if we need to call you in sick.”</p>
<p>Standing, he shrugged his jacket on, glaring, “I’m not a child, I can drive myself.”</p>
<p>“If I let you do that, you’d crash in minutes, you’re dead on your feet.”</p>
<p>“I can-”</p>
<p>“Just stop,” Javier did, words dying in his throat, if only because Steve was standing in front of him now, getting right up in his face and it was obvious he was upset, even before a hand reached out and gripped him by the shirt, fingers curling in the fabric, “just fucking stop Javi.”</p>
<p>Instinct had him glancing around the office, was surprised to find the lights turned down low and all the desks abandoned, hadn’t even realized the last had left for the night. Swallowing thickly, he met Steve’s eyes, was surprised by the ferocity in them, like Javi had done something terrible and he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t quite work out what that might be, found himself asking gruffly, “what’s wrong with you?” and knew the moment he did, it was a mistake.</p>
<p>Steve let out a humorless laugh and his hand that was still gripping his shirt, seemed to curl further in, prompting Javier to take a step closer. He was shaking his head, frustration written in every stiff line of his body, eyes searching his like Javier had the answer to all of this, when suddenly, he was being dragged forward with a jerk of his hand.</p>
<p>Arms wrapped around him, crushing him into Steve’s chest and Javier blinked, startled by the rough treatment. For a long moment, they just stood there with their bodies pressed tightly together right until Javier felt something shake loose inside him. The overwhelming sense of warmth and comfort that wash through him when Steve buried his face in his neck, nearly made his legs give out, the exhaustion rising to the surface like a wave…like some how he knew this place was safe, somewhere he could lay his head down for awhile and not be terrorized.</p>
<p>Despite himself, he sunk into the hug, closed his eyes and laid his head on his partner’s shoulder and didn’t try to pull away like he normally would, didn’t bother fighting the way his heart seemed to swell in his chest because it felt like it had been a very long time since Steve held him like this.</p>
<p>“You’re not alone anymore Javi,” Steve’s words were whispered right into his ear, voice hard with conviction. “I’m right here and I can’t watch you do this shit to yourself anymore.”</p>
<p>He didn’t have the words to reply, didn’t need to because he hadn’t realized how stupid he’d been. Javier had known Steve was worried about him, had seen the way he looked at him from across his desk, had watched the shadows build under his eyes when Javier refused to answer the door at night or didn’t go home at all.</p>
<p>Steve wasn’t somebody you could easily leave behind, wasn’t someone who’d let you pull away and he hadn’t realized that before but suddenly he was immeasurably grateful for it. Tightening his own arms, he murmured into the hollow between his shoulder and throat, “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Steve pressed a kiss to the shell of his ear, achingly tender. “I’ve got you.”</p>
<p>Javier believed him.</p>
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